The Magic of Support

What makes you feel fulfilled?

Today in my journal two questions emerged:

• Where do I need more support?

• Where can I give more?

How would you define support? Support means different things for me personally and professionally. Sometimes this means just checking in and sometimes it means showing up.

Tony Robbins’ 6 human needs are one lens to view support. They are the traits that individuals need to feel fulfilled. How we rank the 6 also contribute to how we make decisions in our life.

WHAT ARE THE 6 HUMAN NEEDS?

1. Certainty: assurance you can avoid pain and gain pleasure
2. Uncertainty/Variety: the need for the unknown, change, new stimuli
3. Significance: feeling unique, important, special or needed
4. Connection/Love: a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone or something
5. Growth: an expansion of capacity, capability or understanding
6. Contribution: a sense of service and focus on helping, giving to and supporting others

These needs, and how we relate to them can also dictate the type of support we need as a person and a professional. The personal order makes a difference as well.

If growth is your #1 then a mentor or teacher who is supporting you may be what you need.

If significance is your #1 then social media and friend support that helps you feel seen may be what you need.

Knowing what you need and how you feel fulfilled is something you may need to reflect on as well.

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As a writer, support and community are important factors of my success. There is trust involved when I allow another person to read and give feedback on a piece. It is the same when I read another writer’s creation.

In any scenario, I hate to be ignored by someone I care about. It is the most hurtful thing to me. In the past, it has been used as an emotional weapon.

***

A large function of my day job is support. As a teacher coach, it is my job to reassure teachers, to grant permission, to curate information, to teach new concepts, remind teachers of things they have forgotten, and to lead people to their own thinking. Most times people need to discover connections for themselves. I have to be a good questioner and listener. I have to stop myself from trying to solve their problem for them often. It is never the same day to day, and I love that about it. I need to be aware of what helps my people feel supported.

As a coach, I also work with a group of peers who are across the district. Support looks different here than it does with the teachers in my building.

Love languages are another lens to look through for support.

According to Chapman, the five "love languages" are:

• words of affirmation

• quality time

• receiving gifts

• acts of service

• physical touch

What people often forget is that your personal needs for support often differ from the people around you. I love words of affirmation; spoken and written. Checking one me and sending a random email or message makes a big difference to me. Therefore words are my default to support when I do not know the person’s love language I am supporting. In one relationship, it took me a while to figure out a loved one’s love language was Acts of Service.

The question I pose to you today is: What does support look like to you?

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Tammy L. Breitweiser writes, walks, inspires, and teaches. She is the conjurer of everyday magic with short concise stories. Her fiction has been published in Gone Lawn, Cabinets of Heed, Spelk, Five on the Fifth, Clover and White, Fiction Berlin Kitchen, and Elephants Never. You can also find her on IG @inspiretammyb.